


Go Away, Little Boy

by Karterlage



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Angst, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, I'm Going to Hell, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Original Character(s), Self Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Triggers, age gap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:15:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karterlage/pseuds/Karterlage
Summary: Go away, little boyI'm not supposed to be alone with youI know that your lips are sweetBut our lips must never meet____Hi! Basically the logic here is that new technology was built so a person could go to a different universe once, by using a necklace. That it heavily based on the Doctor who episode with rose and the 10th doctor.!!Also trigger warning!! Self-harm, Suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt AND intrusive thoughts (Rape) So please read only if you think you can be safe while reading :)
Relationships: Miles Morales/Peter B. Parker
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	1. Dream of You

**Author's Note:**

> !!Trigger Warning!! This chapter includes self harm
> 
> Also, these are fictional characters and a fictional "relationship" I do not condone pedophilia in any form in reality, but if you cannot separate fiction and reality I highly suggest you turn away now.

____ ____ ___

Peter took Mile’s hair into his hand and gently pulled him close. The two were so close, he could feel the boys breath against his face. They sat like this until Peter put his lips to Miles. Miles quickly pulled away.

“Miles-”

“I don’t know how to kiss.” The boy said quickly, full of embarrassment,

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, y’know. I should go.” Peter went to stand up but was pulled back down by Miles.

And at this point Peter was leaning back towards the wall while Miles fixed himself onto Peters lap. 

He moved his hands to take off Mile’s shirt,

And then he didn’t.

Then he was in his shitty bed, in his shithole apartment.

Peter rolled over, reaching for someone to be there. But it was just an empty space.

___ ___ ___

  
  


After stepping out of the shower which didn’t run warm water so Peter was stuck with the chilling air along with being in the freezing water, he took the toothpaste, and spurted a glob of it on his tooth brush. He looked into the mirror,

Dark circles under his eyes,

A disgusting stubble,

And messy hair.

He couldn’t remember the last time he took care of personal hygiene, he was too depressed to even get out of bed most days.

He brushed his teeth, and then rinsed with the cheap mouthwash he found at the dollar store.

He got dressed, the outfit was just grey sweatpants and an oversized hoodie to hide his body.

Peter thought about how Miles looked in only a hoodie

_ His _ hoodie

_ You’re a fucking creep _

“I know.” He said to himself. As much as he hated to think this way, he couldn’t stop. He tried pushing the fantasies away but they just kept coming. Now all he can do is think about Miles.

Peter had cut off all contact with Miles, to keep the both of them safe. The last thing Peter wanted to do was hurt Miles in any way and the only way for that to work is if there was nothing keeping them talking.

Sometimes he would swing by Miles' window, just to see what he was doing.

Literally swing by.

He’d only seen Miles or Ganke, no girls, no suspicious boys.

As much as this was a relief to Peter, he felt disgusted at the same time that he was stalking a 14 year old boy to see if he was seeing anyone. 

Recently, Peter hadn’t left his apartment. He ordered food sometimes, but more nights than others he couldn’t even eat.

The way his brain was wired, it just got so bad for his mental health, He didn’t want to think about a kid - especially Miles.

____ ____ ____

  
  


Every night it was the same thing.

Mostly.

He pulled Miles in for a kiss, went to leave, and then he would go to strip miles.

And then he woke up again and again.

Only to find out that none of it was real, and it won’t ever be. Because he’s 40 and Mile’s is a fucking minor, a child at that.

Besides he’s already fucked up their “friendship.” He was supposed to be mature about the situation, but how can he be mature if he can barely control himself around Miles. If he was a teenager it would be different, but Peter is old enough to be Mile’s father.

All he could do is keep to himself and be the depressed piece of shit he was before he even met Miles. Except now it’s worse.

It’s not the first time, and it definitely won't be the last.

He stood above the bathroom sink with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. This was his way of taking out the anger and yearning. He placed the razor right above his skin. Was it healthy? No. But it beats giving into the temptations and taking a child's innocence.

He cut into the flesh and watched as the blood started to bead up. Slit after slit. He dropped the metal and grabbed some toilet paper and the alcohol. Peter dabbed the wounds before bandaging them again. Soon he’d have to go out and grab more gauze if he kept this pace.

And now he was on his way to bed, only to dream a little dream of the only thing he can.

____ ____ ____


	2. Supermarket Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !!Trigger Warning!! Self Harm, Intrusive thoughts, very mild suicidal thoughts

____ ____ ____

The gauze and bandages were in two different aisles, why? Peter didn’t know.

He picked up the biggest pack of non-stick gauze that he could afford, and moved to the next aisle to find the bandages.

The flower rack was directly down the aisle. There was one person browsing.

Miles.

Peter froze, not out of fear but out of the fact that he didn’t want Miles to see him.

No one said he was the brightest. 

He tried to grab some bandages quietly, but knocked some down which created a distraction to Miles.

It would be great if Peter was the one who could turn invisible. 

Peter looked over, Miles looked over and they both just stared. 

What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t run away, there was a mess to clean up. So he did what he could, which was bend down and pick up the boxes of bandages he’d knocked over.

So much for “spider senses” because when Peter stood up, Miles was next to him with flowers.

____ ____ ____

“I thought you were dead man.”

_ I wish I was _

“I’m not.”

Miles put another fry into his mouth, then taking a sip of his cola. 

“Mhm I see that. Where have you been? Stopped talking to me like I did sum wrong.”

_ God if you only knew _

“Who are the flowers for?” Peter pulled his shopping bag closer to him, hiding it from the waitress and other customers.

“It’s my mom's birthday. I used the money I got from my parents' neighbor to buy them.”

Peter nodded in acknowledgement. He stared at the food in front of him, he was disappointed that he couldn't even take one bite of the burger.

“You okay?”

_ No _

“Yeah Miles. Why?”

“You haven’t taken a single bite of your burger.” 

“I ate before I dropped everything at the store.”

_ You suck at lying _

Miles frowned and pushed his food away. “C’mon man, talk to me.”

Peter hated lying to Miles, but he couldn’t tell him what was running through his mind right now. He was supposed to be a role model of sorts, and this wasn’t very positive.

He rolled his eyes and the boy and grabbed the bag, standing up from the booth. 

“I’ve gotta go Miles.”

And then he left the boy alone at the diner.

____ ____ ____ ____

Peter slammed the door behind him and ran to the bathroom. 

_ You wanted him right there. Didn’t you. _

He covered his ears, like it would fucking stop the thoughts. He wanted to cry but nothing could come out. This one interaction in months was sending him so over the edge.

_ You want him anywhere. At all times. Even if he said no. Even if he pleaded you to sto- _

“No! That’s wrong!”

The only thing that could stop the thoughts is the sweet release through self harm.

That's exactly what he did. He did the exact thing he did yesterday, he cut into the other arm, making sure these were deeper than the last. Not deep enough to kill himself but enough to make him remember this is what he deserved.

His hand was shaky, he involuntarily dropped the razor and looked into the mirror.

He would stop if Miles said no right?

Right?

_ You have to ask yourself that?  _

No.

He was just making sure.

_ You aren’t even a hundred percent sure. What the fuck is wrong with you? _

A lot.

He turned to the plastic bag and pulled out the gauze. Peter didn’t even clean it, he just wiped them a little bit then covered them with the gauze and wrapped it.

____ ____ ____


	3. Can I Call You Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warning this chapter :)

It was 2:30 when Peter actually woke up. 

His room was extremely hot, and his bed was full of sweat.

Peter's apartment was clearly not the best, no AC, not hot water, and barely had working lights but he didn’t have a good enough income to find a better one though so he settled.

Which, today he had to return to work.

He worked at a pizza joint about two blocks away from his apartment. It wasn’t extremely busy but definitely enough customers to keep him busy through the day and so it seemed okay.

There wasn’t a uniform the employees had to wear, there only being 6 workers at most. So Peter just quickly took a shower and then threw on a pair of joggers and a plain long sleeve. Today he decided he had to shave and at least put on deodorant. 

He’d pushed passed the Miles situation until he noticed the little droplets of blood forgotten on the sink. He felt bad for just leaving Miles without explanation but what could he explain to the kid? 

He couldn’t say he’d been in a slump for the past couple weeks, or that he was hurting himself because of something he couldn’t control. And he definitely couldn’t explain to Miles that he wanted everything to do with him.

He wanted to see a therapist, maybe a psychiatrist too for antidepressants. But no pills could fix his sexual and romantic desires for Miles. Do people like Peter even deserve therapy? Sure he could go and express the way he felt but there wasn’t much to do besides make sure he didn’t act on anything. But Peter was already trying his best at that.

Maybe he could turn to Aunt May, but she’d just judge him.

And MJ, he couldn’t even think about how MJ would react.

____ ____ ____

The work day was unusually empty. Regular customers were in and out, and maybe a junkie here and there but that was it.

There was one other person there today and he was a little bit older than Miles. His name was Theo and he was good company. He was mature for his age,

In the most respectful way that Peter could mean it.

Theo and Peter talked a lot, he would say they were friends. They relied on each other for a venting space, but Peter knew he couldn’t say anything about Miles. Theo was still pretty young even with his maturity, he was only 17.

His 18th birthday was coming up soon but even then Peter didn’t feel comfortable telling someone so much younger.

“How was your break? Did it help a lil bit?” Theo nudged Peter's arm while he moved to the side of him. 

“Hm? It was fine, and no it didn’t.” Peter leaned further over the counter. He propped up his arms and held his head in his hands.

“Aw I’m sorry bud. Y’know you can tell me whatever you want, no judgement.”

No judgement?

Theo was the only person he could just right now but even with the reassurance he couldn’t say a word.

“I know, I know. Thanks Theo.”

Theo smiled and walked back to the kitchen.

“Oh! By the way! My friend is coming by to visit!” 

That's fine, as long as they bought some pizza while they were here.

____ ____ ____

Half an hour later, the bell on the door rang when it was swung open.

“Okay and? Captain America is not NEARLY as cool as Iron man.”

“I think you’re wrong but okay dude.”

Peter knew the voices and so did Theo, he came out running and ran to hug the two teens.

Miles and Ganke were in front of the counter, and Peter prayed that they didn’t come any closer.

“Isn’t there someone else working with you today?”

Don’t fucking say it Theo

“Yeah. Not sure where he is though. He’s a cool guy so when I find him, don’t be scared. He doesn’t bite.”

Goddammit Theo. Peter slowly crawled to the kitchen, and tried to make his way to the back door and hide outside. At least until the two left. “Don’t make a sound Pete…” He whispered to himself as a much needed reminder.

“C’mon follow me.” Theo led Ganke and Miles through the counter and was proceeding his way to the kitchen. 

“Peter? What the fuck are you doing on the ground.”

Oh christ. Peter stood up and turned to face Theo. Luckily Miles stopped just before the kitchen door to tie his shoe, giving Peter time to get out. “Lunch Break, yknow?’

Peter waved before he shot his way through the back door. He crawled up the side of the building before he fell down and just laid there to catch his breath. The door opened again and there they were coming out after Peter.

“You work with him? Seems like a nut job.” Ganke had only seen Peter once, and that was way before any of this happened. All of the spiders were gathered up on the ceiling trying to hide, and well.

You know that didn’t work.

Miles looked sad. That was the only word Peter could think to describe what he was seeing right now.

“Nah, Peter's cool I told you. He’s been having a rough time lately. Something about his love like or sum, he never told me the full details.”

Theo do you even have a filter?

The answer to that is no.

“Hey Miles, you okay?” Theo placed his hand on Miles shoulder and pulled him in for a hug.

You wish that was you huh?

Peter couldn’t even deny it. He did wish that was him instead of Theo.

Miles wasn’t crying, but Peter could tell he wanted to. He was clinging onto Theos hoodie and didn’t look like was gonna let go.

____ ____ ____

What was he supposed to answer with. He didn’t want to open the message in the first place but something drew him to do it.

He just wanted to finish the movie and go to sleep. 

The number wasn't familiar but the sender clarified who it was.

Unknown number: Hey it’s Miles  
Unknown number: Can I call you tonight?


	4. I miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! No trigger warning this chapter :)
> 
> Also this is a filler because I'm getting insecure about my writing again so I'm not sure how quickly another chapter is gonna be written but your guys comments motivate me a loooot. So thank you for that <3
> 
> Enjoy :D

____ ____ ____

“What happened back at Lazzaras?”

Oh you know, just trying to escape the presence of the person that could ruin his life.

“You mean when I was running out the back door? Or before that?” 

“I didn’t even see anything before you almost falling on your face trying to get out.” There was an obvious smile on Miles' face, even if Peter couldn’t see it right then and there.

“Ah. I was in a rush to get somewhere.”

If Miles managed to see Peter running up the damn building, he didn’t make it very obvious.

“Hm, well I just wanted to cal-”

“How did you get this number Miles?”

There was silence on the line until eventually Miles answered.

“Don’t be mad. But I assumed since you and Theo worked together I could’ve asked because I just wanted to talk to you.”

Peter really needed to get friends that weren’t teenagers. Ones that won't hand out his number for free.

“Mkay. Go on.” 

Peter curled up into the corner of his couch.

He couldn’t tell if he was getting impatient, or was just exhausted.

“Oh uh, well. I know this is gonna sound weird but I miss you. In the least weirdest way possible. Like cause we used to talk y’know. And then you cut me off man. You still haven’t told me.”

He’d tell you Miles if he could, he really would. He’d pour his heart out to you if what he felt wasn’t sick.

Maybe he could say something, keep it a secret between them.

But if Miles accidentally said something - or even just got scared and spilled to his parents.

What would happen then.

Shit, Peter knew what would happen.

“It’s hard to explain right now. It’s an adult thing.”

“I’m old enough.”

14 wasn’t old enough.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’d rather know what it is, no matter how weird or whatever. It’s better than questioning if I did something wrong everyday.”

There was that sad tone again. 

Peter perched his forehead on his knees. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say. There wasn’t a good enough excuse he could even think of.

“Peter?”

“Yeah kid. I’m here.”

He could feel the tears gathering up in his eyes. He felt so guilty, how couldn’t he? 

_ I know this is gonna sound weird but I miss you. In the least weirdest way possible. _

What does that mean. Obviously not as close as to how Peter missed Miles.

He didn’t know how Miles saw him.

A friend? A mentor? Or someone just to look up to.

Peter wanted it to okay with whatever it was, but he wasn’t 

“I don’t even know how to explain it to anyone Miles. You’re gonna have to wait.”

“Can we still talk or-”

Peter hung the call up before Miles could finish.

The tears started streaming down his face.

He didn’t know the answer, and he didn’t know how to say no.

____ ____ ____


	5. :((

Hi hi

I've decided to stop updating this story due to lack of motivation to write more chapters and I'm not sure when I will be motivated. 

Thank you for everyone whos read and interacted with it, it means a lot to me.

I think I'll stick to short stories because I never have enough commitment to continue on going.

Buuut like I said thanks for reading!

<3


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